Sexless Marriage
Home | Catalogue | About Us | Site Map | Contact Us | Links | Affiliates
Member's Benefits | Sign Up | Member's Login | Survey | Discussion Forum



Dr. Andrew D. Atwood
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Social Worker, Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage
and Family Therapy


 

 

 

 

A Word of Caution:
Hopeful Solutions
is laden with the explicit sexual language that is needed to adequately address the issues that are inhibiting you from having a more fulfilling sexual relationship. While intimate subjects are tastefully addressed, the use of explicit sexual language is common throughout
.

Get FREE, Frequent and Fast Help
for your
Marriage!


Sign-up NOW and receive email notificatons when
there are new postings
on our Blog.


Professionals
and Experts offer tips,
tools, and resources in response to our visitor’s most frequently
asked questions.

Your Name Above
Your Email Above

Within moments you will recieve a confirming "Opt-in" email. Respond as directed to confirm your sign-up.
This security procedure is important!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Testimonial:
"Hi - We (read my wife) bought your online book - Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage - which I read with enthusiasm - some of the content was relevent to our situation and gave an insite into our domestic situation. I relate a lot to the "steel donut" as I am definately B w/my wife the dominent A. Thanks again for the good read."
-
Paul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Discover how you are stuck, why you are stuck, and then take practical steps to get moving!

8-Step Program for Getting UNstuck from Your Sexless Marriage

It’s comprehensive.

It’s unique.

It’s 100% Money-Back Guaranteed.

In minutes you can have the entire package – The 8-Step Program, plus 2 eBooks, plus eCourses

397 Pages of Practical Advice that will help you to get UNstuck!

CLICK HERE

To learn more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Dear Dr. Atwood:

From the bottom of my heart, I wish to thank you for such a caring, thoughtful and professional response. How blessed I am to have stumbled upon your web site. I learned a great deal from reading your response, and was touched by the time you put into it. I think you're right on the money. . . Thanks to you, I realize my very large part in my own mess; I realize I've played a staring role in my own suffering. I shall read your on-line book and then endeavor with all my might to move beyond reading to taking action on what I've read.

Thank you for your wonderful response - and wake up call. M.G."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get Free, Frequent
and Fast Help for
your Troubled
Marriage!

On our Blog,
Professionals
and Experts offer
tips, tools, and
resources in response
to our visitor’s most frequently
asked questions.

Subscribe Now!
Receive our
FREE eReports!

Your Name Above
Your Email Above

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Discover how you are stuck, why you are stuck, and then take practical steps to get moving!

8-Step Program for Getting UNstuck from Your Sexless Marriage

It’s comprehensive.

It’s unique.

It’s 100% Money-Back Guaranteed.

In minutes you can have the entire package – The 8-Step Program, plus 2 eBooks, plus eCourses

397 Pages of Practical Advice that will help you to get UNstuck!

CLICK HERE

To learn more.

Not enough sex driving
you nuts?
Get things moving before it is too late!

Get rid of the confusion!
Break the gridlock!
Figure out what the REAL problem is!
Use this frustrating dilemma to actually strengthen your relationship!

Yes, now you can actually use this “Traveler’s Guide” to create the healthy dialogue you’ve struggled to
have between the two of you.

(There is “a method to my madness” which will help the two of you to share more deeply. Scroll down for more information.)

Both of you can come together around this sound, practical, and professional advice, and in so doing you will be taking action to get your sexless marriage moving faster!

“ . . . I can’t continue to live like this
anymore . . ..”

How many emails have I received from people who are incredibly frustrated with their partner, with themselves, and with their relationship?


Read these e-mails, as I have, and listen to these wonderful people.

I’m certain you can identify with their struggles. Here are 6 examples of the emails I’ve received.

The issues are often pretty clear, as when someone writes me, and shares that his wife “lost her job 5 months ago and is having a hard time finding a new one. She is feeling down and depressed and is putting our relationship aside. She is also only into her feelings, and our sex life in the past 6 months has gone from bad, to worse. There is hardly any passion or playfulness left. Any advice?” Well, believe it or not, this is a pretty easy one. Personal “emotional and cognitive” challenges can slow you right down, affecting your mood about sexual desire.

Relationships that lack satisfying sex are commonly coupled with depression. What compounds the challenge is that the medications prescribed to treat the depression actually diminish sexual desire.

Get Free, Frequent
and Fast Help for
your Troubled
Marriage!

On our Blog,
Professionals
and Experts offer
tips, tools, and
resources in response
to our visitor’s most frequently
asked questions.

Subscribe Now!
Receive our
FREE eReports!

Your Name Above
Your Email Above

Here is another situation that is pretty clear. “Nearly a

year ago, my wife had a complete hysterectomy at the age of 30. Now she says she has no sex drive at all. Maybe I am being a self-centered jerk, but, I am still human and I still have wants and needs. This is starting to put a lot of stress on me. Can anything be done about this before it ruins our relationship? Help!”

There are any number of physical challenges that face men, but women are especially vulnerable because of the complexity of their arousal system. It involves “hardware” as well as “software” and challenges with either can result no desire for sex.

It gets harder when “family enmeshment,” as we Marriage and Family Therapists refer to it, gets involved. “My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we have a child together. He lived with his mother until I got my first apartment, and then he moved in with me. Gradually he started to spend more time with his friends, and less with me. Our sexual relationship just shriveled up to nothing. He wouldn’t talk about it, so I told him to leave. He went home to his mother’s. We have worked a lot of our problems out since then, but he won’t move back in with me. What should I do?”

Enmeshment, alliances, power struggles, identity confusion, lousy communication . . . there are a lot of “family dynamics” that can show up in the bedroom, or keep you out of the bedroom!

Sometimes the issues get complex and layered one on top of another. “Right before we got married I started experiencing a lack of sexual interest. As we have stayed married it has declined to nothing. My husband insisted that I go into therapy about 5 years ago to deal with this. He has an extremely high sex drive, has always been VERY interested in erotica and now is, I think, addicted to pornography. As time moved on, I always felt that he was trying to force me or coerce me or scare me into being more sexual with him. He thinks the greatest intimacy comes from sex, and I don’t think like that. He feels trapped and like he is desperate to escape. He believes he can find someone more sexually compatible. What can I do to reach out to him? How can I help him? I try to listen to his anger and let him know that I understand how he feels. I want to be supportive. Most of all, I don’t want to lose him, but I am afraid it is too late. Any suggestions would be so appreciated.” Wow . . . I had to think about this one for a week before I wrote her back! The very stability of a loving relationship can be upset by incompatible appetites for sex.

There are a lot of complicated issues surrounding one’s “arousal threshold” and “orgasmic threshold” that all mix together under one heading: “the control of sexual desire.”

Then there are the special issues that pop up, such as this. “All of my past partners were always happy to proceed in oral sex. Whenever my new partner pleasures me with oral sex he can’t get an erection. What is this about? No one every had this problem with me before?” So she has some challenges and he has some challenges, and as is always the case, the relationship suffers. In fact, more than half of the men, and twenty-five percent of the women report through my research that their marriage is in serious trouble because of their sexual challenges.

But you are here, and you are doing something about the challenging relationship in which you find yourself. You are not helpless!
You are taking action!

That is a great sign of hope!

Together, with my expert advice, and your serious effort, change is possible!

I’ve spent over 60,000 hours with people over the last 30 years, and a lot of those people have struggled with a lousy sexual relationship. You see, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Certified Social Worker in Michigan, and the co-founder of the Fountain Hill Center for Counseling and Consultation. Today, I work with 11 other people in a multi-disciplinary group where we are all trying to help people to take the next step on their journey of life.

“Helping people to get along,
and to get ahead in life.”

That’s my mission. In order to be helpful to people who are struggling with a lack of sexual desire in their relationship, I have created this website. Truthfully, I am the “content expert” and my son, Dave, is the Webmaster. It is a great team effort here; my right-brain and his left-brain! There are others involved as well, but you can check that out on your own by going to our Home Page.

Here is the “method to my madness” that will help the two of you to dialogue at a deeper level about the very personal and touchy subject of your sexual relationship.

The people who visit this website are about evenly split, 50% are men, and 50% are women. I find that to be rather interesting, and refreshing.

While both men and women come to this site, it is predominantly the women who are able to talk about the sensitive and personal issues involved in their sexual challenges.

We all know that women tend to go for therapy more often than do men. Women can talk about their feelings more easily.

Just go to the Discussion Forum on our website and look at the number of entries that have been posted by women compared to the number posted by men! Women are way more comfortable talking about this stuff … but not always.

I spoke on the phone last week with a woman I’ve never met, nor will I ever meet. She was on her cell phone talking with me from inside a closet at her parent’s house. We talked about her relationship with her partner and she said, “Oh, I’m blushing…”

The challenges you both are facing are probably very difficult to talk about… but if you don’t, change won’t happen.

I’ve created a tool that will help you two to talk with each other.

My eBook is written around a metaphor… a road trip that the two of you are taking. Yes, it is the journey of life that you are on.

This literary technique gives me the opportunity to use some humor, some symbols that guys can grasp, and some language that the two of you can share without getting too embarrassed. By publishing on through the Inernet like this I am able to use common language to talk about common subject. So, YES, all of this is “sexually explicit.”

The “Table of Contents” is six pages long. Here are just some of the topics covered.

Who else is out there traveling through “the land of sexless marriage problems?”

Anxious? Of course you are! This is an adventure!

Anxiety is feedback on how well you are driving with your partner.

Let’s look at your driving record – personal history, sexual history, and relationship history.

Where are you now, and where are you going on this journey?

Here’s a Pocket Map that will show you where you might be off track.

Who are you traveling with? Who is your partner? The works of Myers and Briggs can help you to know.

You and your partner are different. You enjoy foreplay differently. Your engine gets turned on differently. You have different attitudes toward oral sex. Lots of differences.

Substance abuse, pornography, masturbation, sex addictions, anger… all might be making it difficult to travel together.

How about the travel games you play, and your different styles of “driving?”

Are you test-driving, leasing, or owning? Each is a different level of commitment.

How well tuned-up are each of you? If you have mechanical problems you’ll have a break down.

Have enough gas, enough energy for the trip?

Oops, a real breakdown. Where do you go for roadside service?

On a life-long trip, how do you stay psyched up and not bored?

What are those gauges on the dashboard? Your arousal threshold, orgasmic threshold, and your subjective emotional responses can help you to stay on the road.

Some of the common problems encountered on any road trip, such as not being able to turn over the engine, questions of gender identity, female “mechanical” problems, his struggle to keep it up, popping the clutch with premature ejaculation, etc.

How to spend your time while traveling together – talking, growing, being silent, and giving road-head!

What to do when traveling together sucks (or doesn’t) and you aren’t happy any longer.

Picking up hitch hikers – 7 kinds of affairs of the heart and genitals.

Falling asleep at the wheel – benign and hostile neglect.

Necessary pit stops to relieve yourself.

Getting lost on the journey, and finding your way back home.

Running out of gas for the journey. Are you too pooped to put out?

Unexpected problems that really stop you – mental, emotional, physical, relational and cultural breakdowns.

Electrical problems – when the spark is gone.

The point system – getting busted by the cops for bad behavior.

Tips for driving through bad weather – some of them are obvious, and some of them might seem kinky.

What to do when you get car sick, or just plain sick physically.

Crashes – like when you erection fails you, or romantic interludes fail, or when you work real hard and can’t come.

Dead ends – abuse, either physical or emotional.

The role of a regular 3,000-mile maintenance check-up.

Cruising along and visiting scenic overlooks – everything is beautiful!

Marking and celebrating your progress.

There are 50 Chapters in Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage, and as you can see, they all hang together as “A Traveler’s Guide.” Makes it a little silly at points, but it is a way of working with a subject that all too often makes people anxious. Silly stuff is easier to talk over than heavy serious stuff.

Want to learn more about the contents of Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage? Just fill in the boxes below, and I’ll tell you more about what you can do to get your sexless marriage moving!
Name
Email

After three decades of clinical work, reading the best books and research articles, and after talking with people for hour-upon-hour, I have taken the information I’ve learned and the wisdom I have accumulated and I have packaged it all together in an eBook titled,

There are three ways to get your own copy of my eBook.

You can simply click on the ORDER BUTTON below and you will be taken through a simple process that is safe and secure. You can be reading a downloadable version within minutes.

You can order a spiral bound printed copy that will be mailed to you via the US Postal Service.

Or, you can order a copy on CD Rom, and that will be mailed to you via the US Postal Service.

More about that later… Let me tell you about the practical help I offer you in Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage.

What I have written is Hopeful, Frank, Informative, Sexually Explicit, and . . . believe it or not . . . fairly Humorous. You’re on a Road Trip, remember?

If you lose your sense of humor about all this, the shame and anxiety will kill you!


Is your relationship stuck on the
side of the road?

Are you full of frustration, awkwardness, anxiety, shame, and confusion?

Remember, don’t lose your sense of humor! If you can’t laugh at yourself you will surely suffer from serious-itis!


With some help, your relationship
could be like this!

Yes, your situation can change!

Believe me, I know that you might doubt my optimism, but I have seen people change, and I have seen people grow to love, and make love with each other in new and life changing ways.

Just look at this email! “My husband and I seldom have sex. I crave for his affection. It’s almost as if he finds sex sinful. I have to ask all the time. He doesn’t kiss, nor does he show me any affection. I don’t feel connected anymore. In fact, I’m not sure if I want to stay married to him. He claims that he loves me, but can’t seem to find the time for intimacy. I’m lucky if we have sex once a month. What should I do?”

“But, what should I do?”

1) Don’t give up hope! So often in life we face a crisis, we work and work to find a solution that will bring us relief, but it isn’t until we are ready to give up (or, until we have given up!) that some miraculous answer comes from somewhere out of the blue!

2) Stop right where you are, take a deep breath, and get centered. I’ll give you some tips on how you can do that. The more anxious you get, the worse the problem is.

3) Work TODAY with the advice I share in my
e-book
. Read along and “reflect and write.” Look at who you each are, journal some, and get your head straight about the challenges you each are facing.

4) Use my material to get some healthy dialogue going within your own head, and between the two of you. I know from decades of experience that it is easier for two people to talk together about what is in my eBook, than it is to look at each other – eye-to-eye – and talk about oral sex, (for example). I’ve tried to include just about every subject in my eBook, so you two can talk about “it.”

Don’t misunderstand me – I am working hard to foster more intimacy between the two of you. We are after “making love,” not just “screwing.”

“Okay, so what if I don’t find your eBook to be helpful. Then what?"

Great question!

I know that you have struggled for some time with the challenges that have pushed you to the side of the road. None of this just popped up yesterday, did it?
So, yes, you’ve worked at addressing the challenges before you… but I am convinced that you could do more, and better.

So, I'll take all the risk. You can purchase Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage and be confident that if you are not 100% satisfied, you can ask for a 100% refund... and you'll get all of your money back. No questions asked!

I can give you a 100% money-back guarantee because I am confident that:

The content I have packaged for you is comprehensive.

The way I have written it is more entertaining than typical sex manuals that tend to be rather clinical and dry, or just full of pictures about positions. I’m after what creates no desire for sex.

The fact is that if either of you, or both of you read and talk, talk and read, back and forth… you will develop a greater depth of intimacy around a subject that is very sensitive to most people. If your partner won’t read… you can read out loud!

And I simply know this works!

But that’s not all! I’m going to give you 3 gifts for FREE!

BONUS NO. 1 - Yours Absolutely for FREE What Can I Do About My Low Self-Esteem In My Sexless Marriage? This is one of the most common questions put to me by those who email for help. Sometimes the struggle for self-esteem is imbedded in the dilemma of a sexless relationship problem, and sometimes the person who writes me just puts the question right to me in a clear and unambiguous message. I’ve written what I call a 5-page “dialogue paper” and you can have it for FREE as a bonus when you purchase the big e-book.

BONUS NO. 2 – Yours Absolutely for FREE - How do I confront my partner with a problem I am having with my partner, without hurting my partner’s feelings? I wrote this unique 10-page “dialogue paper” in response to a number of people who wanted an answer to this common question. To be really specific, the email that finally pushed me to research and write was this: “How do I tell my partner that I don’t find my partner to be especially attractive anymore since my partner has put on so much extra weight?” Having just finished 6 months on the Atkins diet myself, I was sort of focused on this weight thing! (And I am on it for life!) God only knows how many of us have packed on too much weight and in the process turned off the libido! But as I began to write, I realized that there were all sorts of issues around which one partner struggled to confront another – money, kids, in laws, lack of desire, pornography, an affair . . . the list is pretty long. Most confrontations turn ugly. This paper is also written as a “dialogue paper,” back-and-forth, as I imagine you sitting across from me in my office. This 10-page paper is yours for FREE when you purchase Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage.

BONUS NO. 3 Your Absolutely for FREE - “The Steel Donut” - Why your relationship is stuck, and how you can get free! Frankly, I think this 26-page paper is incredibly insightful. One of my clients, Kurt was his name, drew “The Steel Donut” on the chalk board in my office back in the 1970’s and I immediately saw how incredibly descriptive his diagram was. He used it to describe how his girlfriend wouldn’t let him either get too close, or too far away; Kurt was stuck in “The Steel Donut.” Every time I go to the white board (the chalk board is long gone) and draw out “The Steel Donut,” I get the same reaction from my clients: “Wow, that is exactly what is going on! That’s us, right there! Amazing…” So, I’ve taken the diagram, the descriptions, and woven it all together with 10 illustrations so that you see how “The Steel Donut” is at work in your own relationship. When one person has less desire for closeness, yet won't leave, then the relationship is stuck. If the other person just can’t get close enough, but won't leave either, then the dilemma is in place. I point the way out in this very helpful paper. This BONUS is incredibly valuable all by itself, and I’m giving it to you ABSOLUTELY FREE! Use it to get unstuck.

So there you have it!
A terrific offer!

Whatever you do, do something NOW so that you don’t end up like this!

“I’m a male who has been married for almost 23 years and the past 22 have been nearly void of sex. For the past several years, I have given up initiating sex, as my advances were rejected the majority of the time. Which would drive me totally nuts and make me very angry, besides making me feel totally undesirable. I feel miserable and sometimes depressed. I know I would be a much happier person if I had a normal sex life, and it would be easier for me to show non-sexual affection. Please tell me your thoughts on this situation.”

Or, are you already like this? After all, someone did actually write this letter to me.

And believe, me, I have had others who have challenged me to think and feel right along with them as they struggle with shame, control, anxiety, fear, guilt, anger, and utter confusion.

This all can be incredibly difficult for both of you. But remember . . .

There is hope!

No Risk 100% Money Back Guarantee!

Because this isn’t like going to a bookstore and thumbing through a bunch of books you just took off the shelf, it only makes sense to offer you a 100% money back guarantee. If you are not satisfied with Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage, or the FREE materials, just email me and your money will be refunded. No hassles. So what do you have to lose if you continue as you are now, or if you try yet one more time by purchasing now?

Where can you go for help around such a sensitive and personal subject?

With whom are you comfortable enough to talk about this sort of stuff?

Right here. This is the place where Hopeful Solutions are being made available for people who are struggling.

Start thinking together and talking together today!

If you are having sex at all, but it isn’t satisfying, then you will benefit from Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage.

To order “Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage" as an eBook (download to your computer for $19.99) and be reading in 5 minutes...


To order “Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage" as a Spiral Bound Printed Copy
(which will be mailed to you via USPS for $39.99)


To order “Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage" on a CD Rom
(which will be mailed to you via USPS for only $22.99)

Here’s hoping you have a wonderful life together!

Warm Regards,


Dr. Andrew D. Atwood
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Certified Social Worker
DrAtwood@HopefulSolutions.net

PS: If you are absolutely stuck in your sexual relationship and NOTHING is going on at all, then take a look at my 8-Step Program for Getting Unstuck from Your Sexless Marriage. The 8-Step Program is a special "Package Offering" that saves you $78...so check it out! Just CLICK HERE for more information.

PPS: And remember, you have a RISK FREE 100% GURANTEE!

PPPS: Remember, if you want to learn more about the contents of Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage, just fill in the box below!

Want to learn more about the contents of Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage? Just fill in the boxes below, and I’ll tell you more about what you can do to get your sexless marriage moving!
Name
Email
Your email address will never be shared with anyone.

PPPPS: Don’t forget that you will receive all 3 Bonus Articles for FREE when you order!

Sexless Marriage Click for Help

One Of The Many Services Provided By
www.HopefulSolutions.net

Copyright 2002-2004 - Save Your Marriage, PLC
Privacy Statement

This website is provided by Dr. Andrew D. Atwood,
534 Fountain St. NE, Grand Rapids, MI. 49503. Phone 616-456-1178 (extension *819). DrAtwood@HopefulSolutions.net.


Discover how you are stuck, why you are stuck, and then take practical steps to get moving!

8-Step Program for Getting UNstuck from Your Sexless Marriage

It’s comprehensive.

It’s unique.

It’s 100% Money-Back Guaranteed.

In minutes you can have the entire package – The 8-Step Program, plus 2 eBooks, plus eCourses

397 Pages of Practical Advice that will help you to get UNstuck!

CLICK HERE

To learn more.

 

 

 

 

Is it a physical problem?



Or is it a personal cognitive or emotional problem?



Maybe it is a symptom of your culture?



Or is it a relationship problem that is at the root of the issue?



Or maybe, just maybe, it is a spiritual and energetic issue that has you stuck?



Check our my
Integrated Model for
On-Line Sex Help

Just Click Here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Discover how you are stuck, why you are stuck, and then take practical steps to get moving!

8-Step Program for Getting UNstuck from Your Sexless Marriage

It’s comprehensive.

It’s unique.

It’s 100% Money-Back Guaranteed.

In minutes you can have the entire package – The 8-Step Program, plus 2 eBooks, plus eCourses

397 Pages of Practical Advice that will help you to get UNstuck!

CLICK HERE

To learn more.

 

 

 

 

 

Get Free, Frequent
and Fast Help for
your Troubled
Marriage!

On our Blog,
Professionals
and Experts offer
tips, tools, and
resources in response
to our visitor’s most frequently
asked questions.

Subscribe Now!
Receive our
FREE eReports!

Your Name Above
Your Email Above

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Discover how you are stuck, why you are stuck, and then take practical steps to get moving!

8-Step Program for Getting UNstuck from Your Sexless Marriage

It’s comprehensive.

It’s unique.

It’s 100% Money-Back Guaranteed.

In minutes you can have the entire package – The 8-Step Program, plus 2 eBooks, plus eCourses

397 Pages of Practical Advice that will help you to get UNstuck!

CLICK HERE

To learn more.

 

/....