How can we get help on a Sexless Marriage that is Very rarely have I met someone that entered into a marriage without great excitement and hope. In the beginning of a relationship there is tremendous enthusiasm. Everything is full of great potential! Everyone expects to "live happily ever after." But the fairy tale runs into trouble… and often the only way out is to separate to divorce. Just yesterday I had a wonderful couple in my office. They each had been married two times before, and now in their 60's they were in my office again. Five years ago I worked with both of them for a brief period, and then with him for about a year. They divorced. I lost contact with her, but worked with him monthly for a couple of more years. I knew he had opened up, gotten in touch with a lot of feelings, and become a much more tender and emotionally available man. But she had drifted away. Yesterday, five years after the divorce, they were both in my office for a couple of hours. He has another relationship, and she remains perfectly alone. They confessed their undying love for each other, but acknowledged that they just couldn't live together. He wanted an active social life with many, many people and she wanted a great deal of solitude and quiet time in nature. She said, I will always regret not working harder five years ago. I just think there should have been a way for us to have worked this through so that we both could have been happy." I knew she was right. They love each other, but can't live together. They were sexless for some years. The problems were personal and relational. Both were physically and culturally okay with sex. There spirits let them in different directions; he got energy from being social, and she from entering into solitude. There are 5 BIG Challenge Areas facing couples that are struggling with a sexless relationship. Please, do some work in each of the five areas, and do that work alone and together if at all possible. I have plenty of resources for you at www.HopefulSolutions.net. One of those important resources is the ebook, "A Practical Guide to Deciding Whether or Not to Get a Divorce." Karl Augustine has carefully crafted an incredibly useful tool here. This isn't as much a book you read, as a very practical guide that will take you deep into the question you must ask BEFORE you take that big step toward divorce. Given the time, energy, pain, and money involved in a divorce… be careful! So many couples wish they had tried harder. If you are looking for a therapist please consider going to www.therapistlocator.net. This is the website were you can find a Marriage and Family Therapist that is, as I am, a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Please, try harder. This article is provided by Dr. Andrew D. Atwood, LMFT, LCSW, content expert at www.HopefulSolutions.net. Always use your common sense when seeking advice for your sexless marriage. Where appropriate, always consult your physician. ©2003 - 2006 Dr. Andrew D. Atwood. All rights reserved. HopefulSolutions.net is a service of The Fountain Hill Center for Counseling and Consultation, 534 Fountain St. NE, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 49503. Contact Information: DrAtwood@HopefulSolutions.net. I welcome your comments or questions. If you offer a complementary service or web site, I would like to talk to you about cooperating to build our sites to serve more people. Please know also that I assume no responsibility or liability for the actions of any kind of those who visit my site and read my material or the material of my contributors. |
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